1- Wife: Honey….. What are You Looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour??
Husband: I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

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2- Q – What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A – One Woman Brings you into this world crying… and the
other ensures you continue to do so.

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3- Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

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4- Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the
office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem
can there be greater than this one?”

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5- Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries
or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

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6- Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

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7- A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married
me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you
NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE”

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8- Father to son after exam: “let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

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9- Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your
success as a millionaire? ”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married
Millionaire: “Billionaire”

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10- Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. Hahahahaha

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11- A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me;
my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
“I like your sense of humor”